Through my deepening journey with social justice I feel I am finally opening my eyes. With this new found clarity I am no longer able to be in spaces where people don’t champion and validate diversity and prioritise the psychological safety of all within their space. This includes the psychological safety of Global Majority people, trans+ people and Disabled people.
I can no longer work in places that are not actively reflecting on their biases and changing their practice to be welcoming, appropriate and useful to more people. I am starting to understand when I can push for reflection and change and where and when I cannot. In safer places I will bring up these issues, repeatedly, loudly, emphatically.
I appreciate that I am privileged in being able to choose where and who I work with. And I am often privileged enough to feel safe enough to challenge others (although transphobia often still feels too close to home for me). With this privilege comes responsibility to question, challenge, and clarify the ethos of people we work with and the places we work in. If we don’t, things will remain the same.
We need to challenge and educate safely. This safety relies on recognising what places and people are worth pushing, and which are not ready to unlearn in discomfort. Recognising this is made more difficult when some of these spaces profess to be inclusive and neuro-affirming when they most definitely are not.
“We’re not interested in what you profess, we’re interested in what you produce.”
All work places and social spaces should be actively inclusive, however, as too many of us know, this isn’t the case. We can be constantly let down by spaces and places of work which label themselves “affirmative” and “inclusive” but do not actively practice affirmation or inclusivity. Unfortunately, these words have become buzzwords, they are a type of unique selling point, ushering in engagement from unsuspecting marginalised people. For Autistic and otherwise neurodivergent people we can often take things at face value, if a place suggests they are neuro-affirmative we often believe them.
Too many neurodivergent people come into spaces with their trauma (where else can we put it?) and too many spaces understand this potential vulnerability and our want to believe people in good faith. Of course it is not our fault that these people and spaces do that, it is a predatory issue that is theirs not ours. However, this doesn’t stop us from getting hurt.
I knew the intention was sincere, and I wanted to keep contributing […] When you invest your heart into an organization, you want to believe in it.
I can reflect on this in supposed trans-friendly spaces that profess to be gender affirming. Many allies who may raise a trans flag, or more commonly the rainbow pride flag, will wear these rainbows simultaneously misgendering those they supposedly support. I can think of many more examples, including my want to get my university to invest in the amazing Trans 101 training from Beyond Reflections. I’m still waiting for them to do that…
I have no doubt that this happens to other marginalised groups too. Then it becomes very difficult to know who to trust, that can also include yourself. Trauma may be telling us “I’m being too sensitive”, “I must have misunderstood”, and giving people too much benefit of the doubt. This is all difficult and exhausting to manage and untangle.
Some places are very happy to carry on centring whiteness, cisnormativity, and neuro-normativity. These places, and the people who run them, are not willing to become uncomfortable for any amount of time. When challenged, some can explode, some can implode and many more will ignore the issues altogether. You cannot be a persion or place that is inclusive and open to all if you cannot listen to criticism. Ignoring issues on racism, misogyny, transphobia and ableism does not make you a safe space, it makes you an actively hostile place.
Learn from people of the marginalised group you want to support and know more about. Some great places to start: Autism in Black, Scottish Ethnic Minority Autistics, TransActual, ADHD Babes. Listen to them, pay them, respect them, love and cherish them. Feel free to add more amazing people and groups in the comments.