I talk about accessibility a lot but I have never centered access to joy. I have always thought about accessing work, school, the supermarket, healthcare, and other practical places. Of course we can experience joy in these spaces but they are not the centre of our joy.

The centre of my joy is social spaces and places in my community. It is the play group I go to with my son, talking with like-minded people on the internet, going to gigs, the theatre and out for dinner.

Earlier this month I went to a trans+ group, it was the first one I’ve ever been a member of and it was delightful. We played a daft game, had a strange icebreaker (a not awful one, for once!) and we shared some giggles. There was only a handful of us there but it was nice to be openly trans and openly neurodivergent, laughing, joking, swearing, and sharing what we had been getting up to and what we were looking forward to. And laughing so much.

And that is what we need access to. Laughter. Fun. Joy. We don’t just need to survive we need to thrive.

Thriving is so difficult at a time when there is so much violence and heartache at home and across the world. Recent policy, including the Supreme Court’s decision of narrowing the definition of “woman” (see the TVCE statement here for more info) and the continuing attack on Autistic and autism communities in the U.S, keeps us focused on surviving.

Fighting these policies takes up too much of our time. Too much of our already scarce energy worrying about and working around. When marginalised people have to continuously fight to exist it’s very easy to focus solely on more practical elements of accessibility. Sometimes there is simply no energy, spoons or resources for imagining and engaging in joy.

Creating safer spaces which are trans inclusive, neuro-affirming and accessible to disabled people is so important (great guides include Creating Safe Spaces for Autistic People). These spaces are sacred. They are how we come to know ourselves and our joy. Access is not just about things that we need but things that we want, things we desire. The things that light up our souls.

In this world that is filled with violence, hatred, fear and self-loathing I chose to lean into joy. It’s not always easy, I still struggle with the ideals instilled into me of constant production, the idea of being lazy of having to fill every minute of every day. I still fight with the internalised ableism that tells me I should remember better and do more with my aching body. I still can’t understand my emotions and my bodily responses to them.

I do know what contentment feels like, in my heart, my body and my soul. I’ll just keep following that whilst working on the other things.