This pride month, I asked the community: What’s the best thing about being both Autistic and LGBTQIA+? This blog is based on your answers.

Autistic and queer people are often understood through issues we experience such as healthcare needs, inaccessibility, stigma and prejudice. These areas are important for us to discuss, be aware of and adjust for, however the issues we experience are a very small part of what makes us us.

I fall into this trap too as I know the hatred, bigotry and ignorance we all face on a daily basis. This desperately needs to be changed, but for once I’d like to share about neurodivergent queer joy. What does it look like? And how can we experience more of it?

Queerness and neurodivergence can be liberating and bring much scope for challenging our understanding of identity, the world and how we want and can fit into it. As one community member shared:

“It’s like my Queer Autistic mind can see past the programming. A bit like the Matrix movie: we are the ones who are awake but the world just can’t see it.”

Ignoring – or outright challenging – normativity in all its forms can be liberating for us but can also liberate all who live in the folds of the fabric of society. Liberation for one can only happen when there is liberation for all. As one community member astutely reflected:

“There’s a freedom to being queer and neurodivergent. A feeling that you’re a bit more real, authentic, open, and down to earth. Being able to accept others more easily. And definitely seeing links, patterns and relationships that others don’t even contemplate. It blows my mind sometimes to think of the things some of us think about a lot doesn’t even exist for most cishet allistic people. I guess our Roman Empire are our special interests and awareness of sex, gender, neurotypes, sexuality and what it means to be human.”

Through a deep understanding or dominant narratives, we can begin to challenge them by queering our bodyminds and our lives. Queering yourself is a practice that can be controlled, changed and developed throughout the lifespan, around all areas of ones humanity, not just sexuality and gender. We can lean into the very things which make us weird, freakish and at the fringes of society. Remi Yergeau and Nick Walker call the intentional queering of ones bodymind neuroqueering, both a practice, idea and state of being. This idea is appearing more often in neurodivergent spaces:

“I love thinking outside the box. Life is for living the way we want to, not the way we are told too. My queer Autistic brain sees the links between different systems which make all humans unhappy and shows me how I can bend the rules to make my life more meaningful to me”

Many queer neurodivergent people refuse to comply to the norms of society, such as not being “boxed in by gender stereotypes” or “worried about others perceptions”. There is a great deal of freedom for those of us who are privileged enough to live as authentically as we can. This authenticity can be explored more safely in these queer neurodivergent spaces:

“I think having dual communities is great – it’s more places to feel understood and accepted. It’s so validating and affirming being able to share that with others too.”

Through community queer neurodivergent people are having fun, learning about ourselves, creating knowledge and contributing to both queer and neurodivergent culture, as well as its intersections. Community building and self-actualisation can allow us to experience “Autistic joy and shiny enthusiasm [through] a rich source of humour and creativity”.

We are not just our issues and trauma, we are amazing. Truly amazing.