I was having a conversation with a chronically ill friend some months back. And we came to the conclusion that we were holding on to a lot of internalised ableism. This internalised ableism was stopping us from accessing and trying things that would likely be really helpful for us.

I told my friend that I wanted to try using a walking stick and some weeks later when we went to a community research session together I was able to get two walking sticks for £5! My walking stick was meant to come home with me that day.

Fast forward to today and I use my walking stick most days. It helps me manage my pain, engage in more light walking and has been a godsend for the school run. I use it on the days I have low energy, higher pain or on days I know I will be walking or standing around a lot. It has been a total game changer.

Not only does my walking stick help with my mobility it also offers me the chance to move, sit and stand in the way I need to, instead of the ways I have been told I must. It is a physical reminder for me to slow down and is a visual invitation for others to check in on my needs. This has been amazing. People often offer me a seat, ask me if I need anything, help me with carrying things, and I am always asked if I need help (which I often do). I was never offered this help before.

In some cases my stick has acted as a magic wand, it doesnt disappear my pain, but it does allow me to do and ask for things I’d never felt confident to do or ask for previously. Getting out of my car in an accessible space with my stick is not only physically easier but psychologically easier too. I find I am no longer perceived as “able-bodied” and therefore in the “wrong” parking space. Maybe that’s more to do with how comfortable I am using these spaces now. Either way, it has taken so much stress out of my life.

I am racing towards a time in my life where I often take help when it’s offered. I’m not too proud to have someone carry my tea to a table or get things for me. I don’t expect it but it is a nice way of people showing they care for me.

If I was to have a conversation with anyone thinking of getting a stick, a crutch or other form of mobility aid my advice would be: try it, it won’t hurt. You can often get sticks and crutches from second-hand shops. This is a cheaper and easier way to give a stick or other device a go. Buying from a second-hand shop is better if your budget is tight and is more eco-friendly.

Since using my stick noone has asked me any questions about it or made a fuss. I can’t say that that will be everyone’s experience of course. So take things as slowly as you need to. There’s no right or wrong answer and there’s no check list that you need to tick to use these devices. If they could help then go for it.