I think about what kind of research I want to do. What it needs to centre, champion and value. What it needs to nestle and hold space for.

Social research is so much more than the expansion of learning and knowledge. It is connection, community, empowerment, creation, dismantling. At least, it should encourage and make space for these things. Having been a participant is some inaccessible research in the past, I am aware that these values aren’t always upheld.

However, I’ve seen the power of connection-building over the last few years with the cancer projects I’ve been involved with. I don’t mean network building and connecting like-minded professionals together (although that is important too), I mean connection to ourselves and each other through conversation and space sharing.

These conversations have the power to change those involved, in both short and long term. We, as humans, are made up of all of our social experiences – these are in our very code. So, yes, every conversation counts. Making safe(r) spaces for people to have these conversations matters.

Every time we tell our truth out loud we understand it better. We can name it, understand it, process it. Speaking it outside of ourselves, perhaps for the first time, takes the power away from our experiences and gives it back to us. There is power in sharing ourselves with others in safe(r) spaces. We are rarely given these opportunities to just “tell it how it is” so it’s vital that researchers and community based initiatives get this right.

These conversations also matter on a community level. We are able to see all the ways we are connected to each other, all the ways our lives and experiences overlap. Sharing experiences can bring great joy, understanding and connection to the speaker and anyone lucky (and trusted) enough to witness.

These are the things that data analysis can’t always capture. It is difficult to capture the change in people, communities and groups. It is hard to see, understand and appreciate the ripples that come from these conversations.

I can reflect on my own changes over the four or five years of doing this kind of work. It’s changed me, in an ineffable way. That’s part of the reason why this data can’t be fully understood because we may not fully appreciate it on an individual level for some time afterwards.

The slow drudge of late-stage capitalism doesn’t give people the space, time or capability to sit and think. To truly be with ourselves and know ourselves.

This is harder for multiply marginalised folx. Time and space to explore ourselves is a luxury, which is one of the biggest shames of ‘civilisation’.

I come back to my original question: what kind of research do I want to do? And there’s no piffy one-liner for that. This goes further than you’re “elevator pitch”, it goes further than the ‘western’ institutions that house academic research can even imagine, contemplate or care for. My research is love and connection, understanding, breathing – it’s taking a look at ourselves and each other and saying “We got this”.