Trans Day of Visibility is always a strange one for me. I’ve been “out” for nearly a year and a half now. I’ve been out in various stages across my social life, the first person being my husband, who has been amazing with my new pronouns and my journey so far.

My being visible has also caused me a lot of pain and grief, continuous misgendering, and having to navigate cis feelings when I’d much rather not. Adding this issue to those I have around not being taken seriously as a multiply neurodivergent Disabled person. It’s a lot. It’s also culminated in family estrangement, which is a mixed bag to say the least. So, yes, I have trans pride, but also I really understand how and why so many of us stay in the closet for so long.

This Trans Day of Visibility, I think about those of us who can’t be trans out loud.  Those who rely on being seen as cisgender for their work, their housing, and their social network.  Those who are unsafe to come out. Those who don’t have access to the language, community, and self-knowledge. Those who are incarcerated in ‘single-sex’ spaces. Those who face violence at the hands of others, including their own family or government. Visibility for some is just not an option.

As I become more comfortable in myself,

I become more visible.

As I become more visible,

I become more vulnerable to ignorance.

But I also become more me.

As I become more me,

I show others they can become more them.

I will be out loud and proud, trying to make it a better, safer place for all my gender-diverse siblings to be themselves. Stay proud but also stay safe.