Joining a Long-Covid online support group has definitely been an experience.
Listening to people who were able-bodied experiencing disability for the first time definitely brings up some serious feelings for me, anger, frustration, annoyance, to name a few.
I just want to shout through my computer screen “some of us live like this all the time and no one cares!? Now you can finally see what that feels like.”
But I don’t want to dismiss anyone’s feelings about having their mental and physical health stripped away from them.
They are now part of the Disabled community, *my* community, but they bring with them so much shame and unhappiness. Understandable feelings but very difficult to listen to as a long term Disabled person.
It’s like having our space invaded by people who, for the most part, ignored and were disgusted by us but now that *they* are chronically ill they want our help, support and love.
So, I sit and I listen and I see myself and my other chronically ill friends reflected in what these people say, how they say it and the emotions that come with it. The grieving of your previous ability, body and self.
It’s painful to read and there’s no answer to people’s questions of “why me?” and “When will I go back to the way I was?”.
None of the answers are clear or easy – most of us won’t go back to how we were, ever.
This is us now, in all our extraordinary struggles with the most mundane of tasks. Struggling, drowning in a world which doesn’t have the resources to help even if they wanted to.
Covid has created another group of Disabled and chronically ill people with no support, no answers and with such poor mental health.
I am angry. I am beyond angry that Disabled people are just so dispensible in our world.