I have pretty intense sensory processing differences – I get mega tactile joy from soft, light materials and clothing which flows off me. And I hate stuffy, thick, clunky clothing. Tags in clothing make me want to scratch the skin off my body.
I find it difficult to wear full length trousers as I don’t like how they feel on my ankles. I also have issues with how clothes fit on my chest, armpits and round my thighs.
I am constantly overheating so I can’t wear lots of layers or thick clothing.
I often wear the same things every day: loose fitting linen dresses and cotton harem trousers. I wear shorts and flip flops all year round.
Although, I love what I wear I wish I could dress more masculine, a polo shirt and jeans, a shirt and dress shorts with deck shoes. I want so much to be read as masculine but my sensory sensitivities get in the way of this.
I want to dress like a boy but it may never happen. I may never be able to feel physically comfortable in more fitted clothing.
I am trapped in a gender expression which isn’t wholly my own: it belongs to my sensory differences, my being Autistic and ADHD.
My neurology is fighting my gender dysphoria and I lose either way.