The lack of sleep, inconsistency in sleep and the constant change in hormones has done a number on my energy levels. I no longer have energy for the most trivial of tasks, cleaning, house work, cooking and self care. These are all things I struggled with before having a baby and now they are seemingly more impossible.
At the time when I need spoons the most (see What’s Spoons Got to do with it?) I am utterly exhausted and unable to do the most basic of tasks without being left completely inert. I need more spoons now to deal with all the additional jobs which come with parenting, all the day-to-day tasks and running about after a very active 15 month old!
Then comes the never-ending cycle of sickness, especially when my husband has an auto-immune condition, the sickness literally never stops.
I just have to remind myself that things get done as and when they get done. It’s no longer healthy, appropriate or realistic to hold onto perfectionist ideals (spoiler: it never has been).
Any routine or schedule I had has gone, it may cycle round at some point but the organisation I had shambled together has very quickly fallen apart. Any remnants probably wouldn’t make sense now anyway, priorities certainly change after having a baby!
I also have to take better advantage of the small support system I have. I’ve always been a person who helped others and put others needs first, a lovely but often toxic trait. It didn’t lend itself to self-care but through having my little one I have been able to be more self / family-centered. This also means I am more willing and able to ask for help.
I may be inert but I’m happier now in my Mummy inertia than I ever was in my individual inertia. I have a gorgeous little person to procrastinate with now!